Vayishlach – Once Upon a Week

Read the transcript below, or watch a video of the teaching by Yehuda Bachana.

This week’s Torah portion tells us about Jacob’s preparations before the meeting with his brother Esau, how he sent gifts to Esau and split his camp in two. Then we read about the meeting itself, which was very dramatic, with hugs and tears, and then forgiveness.

We read the horrible story of Dinah’s rape, and the ruthless murder of Shechem’s inhabitants by Simon and Levi, Jacob’s sons. And by the end of the portion, we read about Benjamin’s birth. And with great sorrow we part from Rachel, and soon after, from Isaac.

The most mysterious story in this Torah portion is also one of the most important events that influenced our nation, this is how we received our name – Israel, which means, “we struggled with man and with God and prevailed”.

This week we read about the dramatic event of a man wrestling with an angel. The material earthly forces are fighting with heavenly powers. And who will win?

The Bible tells us that Jacob was alone on the bank of the Jabbok River, when suddenly, a mysterious figure appeared before him and fought with him. Covered by darkness, they are struggling through the night until dawn. Was there even a possibility for Jacob to lose?

Everything Jacob had in his life was already on the other side of the Jabbok River – his family, his wives and children, all his property – everything was already there. So, he fought not only for himself, but for all of them, and he had to win!

The impression I am getting from reading the Bible is that Jacob was very strong. He was a tough shepherd, able to withstand heat or cold, as he himself witnessed, a man of the field. All by himself Jacob moved away a large stone from the mouth of a well, a stone so heavy, that only several shepherds together could roll it away. Meaning, that he had the strength of several people.

And here? He fought with and overcame an angel from Heaven, and the angel blessed Jacob with these words:

Here I imagine God saying, “You prevailed, my son, you prevailed, my son!” One of the most famous Talmudic stories is “The Oven of Akhnai”.

In this story, several Jewish sages are sitting and debating the rules of purification. Rabbi Eliezer was in minority, his opinion wasn’t accepted by others, so he called upon the forces of nature to prove to all others that he is right, nevertheless, they didn’t agree with him.

Now is the time to say that the Torah is eternal, and it remained relevant all through the years, because God inserted into it a human element, within it is a combination of change and permanence. The Torah is not in Heaven, but it is here on Earth, it is given to human beings, and God gave His authority to people.

In the New Testament, Yeshua taught us about the authority given to people, when he said to Kepha (Peter):

I think that this authority is given to anyone with responsibility, even to every head of the family. And more so to the people who hold greater responsibilities and higher positions, to the congregational and church leaders, and so on. The more people you are able to influence, the heavier is the responsibility on your shoulders.

From the Bible and the New Testament, we are familiar with the term “heads of hundreds and heads of thousands”. This was written in the military context, but it is clear that this principle applies to different areas of responsibility.

People usually believe that it is fun to be in charge, to be the one who decides, who holds all the power, and we tend to forget about the weight of responsibility that rests on the leader’s shoulders and leaves him sleepless at night. Most of the leaders and directors work longer hours, they are usually the ones who take work home with them.

In the army, the commander of a combat unit sleeps less than his soldiers, because he has to care for those under his command, to make sure that they lack nothing. He has to prepare the next training day, to learn maps and trails, to go through the combat regulations, and so on. Commanders are doing all this when their soldiers are already asleep.

When we receive more authority, our responsibility doubles and multiplies as well. Our accountability to God grows. It is written in the New Testament:

It’s important to have good and godly leaders.

Our Torah portion points to the great strength of Jacob, but also to his great fear, when he was told that Esau is coming towards him with 400 men. Jacob is reacting to this news in fear:

He is praying to God, asking:

Fear is often based on our imagination. We imagine the most painful and destructive results possible; it is not always rational, but it is a very tangible feeling.

My daughter loves to take walks with me and our dog. In one of the parks we go, there is a low stone wall that runs for about 60 feet long. It is more than a foot wide, and my little girl loves to run back and forth along it.

If we would make it a bit wider, to two or three feet, I am sure that most people would enjoy to freely walk upon this wide and low wall. However, if we would lift it 100 feet above the ground, or 200 feet, who would dare to walk on such a bridge without any rail?

The fear will paralyze us. We have no problem with a low wall, but a tall bridge without a rail is not for me or for my children!

There is a famous saying of Rabbi Nachman from Breslov:

It is a famous song in Israel, and I think it is based on Yeshua’s teaching:

As believers we see our life as a journey on a narrow bridge, in addition to its destination. In the meanwhile, it lifts us above obstacles and stumbling blocks, this is also very important.

It saves us struggle with an abyss or a flood, it leads us to safety, beyond great waters, above an abyss, above dangers, but we must not fear, we need to know that we have the power to overcome and to succeed. Our faith in Yeshua gives us power and confidence to walk without fear.

And now, back to Jacob and Esau. Is it even reasonable, that after such a long time, Esau is still angry with Jacob? As 20 years had passed! And we are not talking here about simply anger or disappointment, but the intent to murder.

Jacob is splitting his camp, so that at least one half could survive. Here we need to understand the special bond between Isaac and Esau, they loved each other, and the protocol, or ceremony, for the firstborn blessing was extremely important.

Jacob and Rebecca put a great effort in winning it, although by fraud. But it actually proves the importance of the firstborn position.

Jacob hurt Esau and damaged this ceremony, the Torah describes the depth of shock and disappointment of both Isaac and Esau when they realized what had happened. It is written:

And Isaak answered him, “I can’t — the blessing is already given and I can’t take my words back.” But this is not all, because Rebecca, Esau’s own mother, conspired against him. Is there a greater and more painful humiliation then this? I doubt it!

The great anger turned into a burning hate, mixed with the feeling of betrayal by the closest ones. Such feeling doesn’t just disappear! Jacob is sure that Esau is still waiting for the opportunity to get his revenge for the betrayal, humiliation, and pain.

That is why this entire chapter of the Torah is dedicated to his preparations for the meeting with Esau. Nevertheless, their meeting ended up with hugs and kisses, how so?

The first option is to go back to our discussion on fear, and to remind ourselves that fear is only our imagination, and it is always based on the worst possible outcome. The second option is to look at the different active steps taken by Jacob in order to appease his brother.

Jacob is actively seeking Esau’s favor. How did he do it? How did Jacob manage to appease his brother?

First, he is sending many gifts, and he humbles himself before Esau, he appears lower and weaker then Esau. So even if Esau wants to hurt Jacob, such humble attitude disables the anger and quenches the desire for revenge. Jacob succeeded to find favor in the eyes of his brother.

People often find themselves in the situation of a power struggle, especially in the family, between parents and children, husbands and wives. What do these power struggles look like?

We don’t answer a question or wait to be asked a second or third time, we cause him or her to become defensive, we attack: “Why did you? Why didn’t you buy this or that? Or why were you late?” Now this comes out naturally…

Such questions are not the result of bad intentions, they are simply part of our nature. It is only natural for us to compare our kid to the child of a friend, who helps, who does his homework, and cleans his room. Or to compare our spouses to others, who fix, clean, and help. Why can’t you be more like him?

When we get to this point, maybe one side of the argument loses more, but both partners are at lost. The solution is not to argue but to appease. How can we do it?

We make the other person feel important, feel in the center of attention, feel that he/she is being heard. All people like attention, and we love those who give it to us. We love those who make us feel strong and important, who let us talk about ourselves. Jacob makes Esau feel important and strong.

If it is so important to find favor in the eyes of other people, how much more so to find favor in the eyes of God. How do we do that?

We give Him the central place in our lives, we keep ourselves pure and holy. As we are commanded in 1st Thessalonians, to live modest lives in accordance with the Word of God. The Word of God, from Genesis to Revelation, through Yeshua the Messiah, is our road map for how to find favor in the eyes of God.

Shabbat Shalom.